Yes, kids it’s true! If you work very hard and become the very best at the special skills the job requires, you have a very good chance of becoming President someday!
And the best part is, there are only two skills you need to develop: Reading somebody else’s words on a teleprompter, and Lying!
Now, I don’t want to make this seem easy. It’s not enough to become merely a competent liar, or even a very good liar. You must spend hours practicing this special skill every day so that you eventually become one of the very best liars in the land. Only then will you have an excellent chance to become president.
I urge you to begin by studying YouTube videos of Obama, who is truly a magnificent liar. Again and again, this grandmaster has demonstrated his astonishing skill. He is able to lie convincingly about anything, and to everyone, even himself. Honestly, he is an absolute wizard at prevarication, fraud, hypocrisy and all the other subtle and difficult arts of lying.
Clearly, he has devoted his life to this. It is his calling and his passion. I stand in awe of his virtuosity in this area.
But there have been other grandmasters as well. Who can forget “read my lips”? Who can think of Ronald Reagan, who expanded the cost and intrusiveness of government faster than even Roosevelt, and not be inspired by his ability to persuade the entire world that he wanted to reduce the size and scope of government. Genius!
If you find these role models inspirational, kids, get started with your intensive practice immediately! Why not start a Ponzi Scheme tomorrow?